In uncertain times, when we’re under more stress than usual, we can see "how we tend to be" as if it's under a microscope.
If you tend to worry about your health and safety and the health and safety of the people you love, you're probably really anxious now about your more vulnerable loved ones. Maybe even feeling angry or frustrated with others who aren’t sheltering at home like you think they should.
If you tend to feel a little lonely and disconnected from others, you may be feeling really isolated right now.
If you are someone who is constantly busy, doing lots of big and important things for yourself and others, you may feel like you’re lost, without a purpose or direction.
If you tend to have thoughts that there isn’t enough or you won't have enough, then the limitations on what you can purchase and what is available may be creating a lot of anxiety.
If you're already in a difficult relationship, if you're sheltering in place with this person, or even if you're just trying to communicate with them virtually, high stress situations shine a light on all the challenges.
If you tend to be really uncomfortable when you don’t feel like you are in control of a situation, you may be a complete disaster!
There are two ways we can go with this knowledge. We can just allow our anxieties and worries to play out in anger and impatience and frustration…or we can pause.
We can notice these amplified tendencies. We can start to question why we tend to be this way. Maybe it’s an old hurt, maybe it’s a limiting belief, maybe it’s our upbringing and what we were modeled, maybe it’s just our personality type.
The great news is whatever we discover doesn’t determine how we can choose to go forward. Understanding, knowing, and being compassionate with ourselves about these tendencies is what allows us to decide if we like the way they make us feel.
We have so much control here.
We can look at a past hurt, know that the fear of feeling that hurt again is causing us to act out, give our past self a hug and assurance that we’ve got her back and we won’t let that happen to her again, and we can choose how to move forward - setting boundaries, taking action, and making brave choices to control the things in our life that are ours to control.
This applies during the Covid-19 crisis, but it applies to every circumstance as well. And we can use this tool in any situation.
So here’s what to do:
Take some time this week and just notice. Without judging or trying to change anything, just notice when you feel a strong emotion or reaction.
Define the emotion, be as specific as you can. Get more clear than just sad or mad, dig deep here.
Notice what it feels like in your body when you feel this emotion. The physical sensation of it, try and describe what it feels like in a sentence.
Reflect on other times in your past when you’ve felt this feeling in your body. What were the circumstances? What were you experiencing?
Remind yourself that the experience was in the past. Comfort yourself that it was really hard to experience that but that you’re safe and secure now.
Take another look at the current situation that caused the strong emotion or reaction. Recognize what you can actually control.
Take deep breaths and use other tools to self-regulate your stress response, set necessary boundaries, take positive action, and reconnect with the present moment, reminding yourself that right here, and right now, you have everything you need.
Yoga and Wellness sessions can help guide you to practice and explore which tools work best for you in which circumstances. Our sessions are a kind of roadmap so that in the future, you have the tools and resources to find your way to a sense of peace and calm in every circumstance in your life.
I've created some of these tools to share with you to begin to incorporate into your daily practice. You can access the Free Yoga and Wellness Tools resource here.
You'll receive an email with the resources to download and keep for whenever you need it. My hope is that you return to them often, whenever you need to check in, re-center, and feel at ease.
If you’d like to chat about how you’re feeling, and learn some tools to manage your thoughts and your feelings in this and any circumstance, I’d love to help.
Not ready for a session but want to join the conversation? I'd love for you to join our Clara Bella Wellness Community on Facebook. It's a welcoming and nurturing space for women to learn from and support one another. We'd love to have you there.